Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Ask a Negro - 6/28/05

Dear Quintessential Negro:
I'm an Intellectual Negro. I graduated Phi Beta Kappa from a Historically Negro College in Atlanta, and I'm currently a Ph.D. candidate at the most prestigious English Literature program in the country. Without a doubt, I'm a Cultured, Extremely Well Educated, Upstanding Negro. My question is this: Is it okay for one such as myself to dance to the Ying Yang Twins summer smash hit "Wait (the Whisper Song)." I find the lyrics objectionable, and it's important that I keep up appearances.

Intellectual Negro

Dear Intellectual Negro:
Hells yeah you can dance to that shit! Pardon a Negro. I meant to say that there's nothing wrong with enjoying a good dance to the Whisper Song. Yes, it rather explicitly discusses the pleasures of the flesh and the size of one's male member, but at bottom it speaks to one of the most essential aspects of human nature--the sexual drive--and it does so quite creatively. Celebrate your sexual drive, Intellectual Negro. Grab your member and dance a thrusty dance. We all know that song is tiiiight. Just remember that there's a time and place for everything. It would be most improper for you to approach your female Shakespeare professor and whisper the lyrics in her ear. Most improper.

A brief note: Many Negroes have expressed concern about supporting the music of Michael Jackson (Molester Negro) and R. Kelly (The Other Molester Negro). These are valid concerns. Witholding support is respectable and even commendable. Celebrity Negroes too often escape justified criticism. At the same time, Those Two Molester Negroes are musical geniuses. Ain't nothin' wrong with hummin' the tune to "Beat It" every once in a while.
-The Quintessential Negro

The Quintessential Negro loves giving advice. Send questions about Negro Life and Culture to quintessentialnegro@gmail.com. Negroes and non-Negroes alike are encouraged to ask away. The Quintessential Negro reserves the right to edit questions for length, clarity and, of course, humor.


Blogger Janie said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5:54 PM  
Blogger Janie said...

I have often pondered that question myself, but then I was unfortunate enough to hear the unedited version which stated the answer to my question clearly. Hell naw I ain't dancing to that shit! I mean, that is not the type of music that I would be able to dance to. But the beat is catchy.

5:59 PM  
Blogger sJea said...

this is some of the funniest stuff i've heard in a while...

living in the "A" - the crunk capital of the world, i hear the whisper song about 8,000 times a day...the first 400 times, i nod my head...on the 401st radio play, i tend to run screaming towards grady's psyche ward...

but each day is a new day...and tomorrow, i'll nod my head again...

6:20 PM  
Blogger Diggs said...

LMAO. I love how u broke it down.

7:17 AM  
Blogger Ross Nantz said...

Hmm... Such a trip. With main stream rap I learned a technique called juxtaversing... it was in response to the "message." I "overlayed" something else beside booty and _ock. Kids have enough hormones already and help these days is a dicey game. Anyway, I thought radio was a one way medium!!! Jeez... Oh well... Here's to Idiot Rulz... LOL. Yes there's a time for everything but hu's clock???

6:41 PM  
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