Friday, July 08, 2005

Ask a Negro (All I's on Me)

Dear Quintessental Negro:
I try my best to stay on top of the latest slang, but every once in a while I hear a word or phrase that I don't know how to use properly. Please define and use the contraction "I's" in a sentence. I would like to start using it right away.

Language Lover

Dear Language Lover:
Who the hell have you been hanging out with? The contraction "I's" is an old, old Negro idiom that dates back to the 19th century. Negro slaves used the contraction in the same way that one would use the contraction "I'm", which of course means "I am". Possible usages include:

"I's goin' to da sto'."

"I's sorry for snatchin' dem taters massa."

"By golly, I's free!"

This usage fell from fashion many decades ago, and it certainly never qualified as slang. I advise that you refrain from such language, except for the occasional Kunta Kinte imitation, which is okay if you are a Negro. I's happy to help.
-The Quintessential Negro

The Quintessential Negro loves giving advice. Send questions about Negro Life and Culture to Negroes and non-Negroes alike are encouraged to ask away. The Quintessential Negro reserves the right to edit questions for length, clarity and, of course, humor.


Blogger fahren said...

ok, i've used up this month's allotment of paper towels wiping the spit off my screen. people are wondering why all the paper towels are gone. quit making me laugh so effin hard.

5:13 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home