Thursday, July 14, 2005

Mooney's Jokes are My Jokes

Genie in a Bottle

A white man was walking along the beach when he stumbled on a genie in a lamp. He rubbed the lamp and summoned the genie.

"You have three wishes," the genie said, "but you must never say them aloud. "Think them to yourself, and I will grant them."

The next thing the white man knew, he was in a giant mansion with marble floors, twisting staircases and a sprawling kitchen. You see, all white men want mansions.

Then suddenly, gorgeous blue-eyed, big-tittied women appeared out of nowhere. They frolicked in the great mansion. All they wanted to do was give head. All white men love women, you see.

Then there was a knock at the door. Wham wham wham! When the white man opened the door, he saw several klansmen in their gruesome regalia. They grabbed the white man, strung him up and lynched him from a great oak tree. You know why? All white men want to be hung like a nigger.

A black woman comes across the genie on the beach. "Tell me your two wishes," the genie said.

"I want you to build a great bridge from here to Africa so that when these white folks get on my nerves, I can walk on home," the black woman said.

"You must be crazy," the genie said. "I can't do that. What's your next wish?"

"I wish that one day in the United States there would be equality among black people and white people," the black woman said. "Maybe for my children. Or my children's children."

"Hmmph," the genie said. "So should I make that bridge out of steel or concrete?"

Wesley Snipes is so black...

When black folks finally get reparations, Wesley Snipes is gonna be a rich muthafucka. Ain't nobody black as that nigga. Sorry, Halle Berry. You only get a dollar.

Indian Democracy

During election season, a commercial played in some parts of the country, which lobbied against Indian casinos. A white stentorian voice proclaimed, "The Indians have their own casinos. They don't have to pay taxes on the millions of dollars in casino revenue that they earn each year. I didn't vote for that."

The Indians should make their own commercial. "You came here and stole our land. You gave us blankets riddled with disease. You destroyed our people and our way of life. I didn't vote for that."

Michael Jackson, You Went Too Far

Michael Jackson had it coming. He offended too many white people. Sooner or later, they were going to try to take him down.

First Michael married Elvis Presley's daughter. White folks knew that if Elvis didn't come back after that, he must really be dead.

Then he went and bought the Beatles catalog. And you know that pissed white folks off.

But his greatest crime was when he dangled his precious, defenseless white baby from that balcony in Germany. "How could he do such a thing! He should be arrested and the baby should be taken from him," the world demanded.

But it would have been different had that baby been black. "Oh, don't worry if Michael drops that nigger. The black monkey will climb right back up to daddy."


Anonymous Nigger Negro said...

Peace to all the Gods and Earths.

This is Nigga Negro and, as usual, I gotta set some shit strait! You know the cracker whitey in Quint's joke? Well, if that shit was real, he would have shot that beautiful brown-skinned Genie with his pussy-ass 22! He would have said, "Stay away, you rag-headed Osama Bin Bitch," and then blasted her up out of that lamp. You know that Nigga Bitch Ho that asked for a bridge? Shit, she would have gotten that bridge, walked accross, and then come right back! You know ain't no Nigga Bitch from the US going to put up with all that cleanin' and cookin' that them Nigga Africans got for their hos!

You heard of Father Christmas? Well, Wesley Snipes is Nigga Midnight! God damn, that's a Midnight Nigga! Don't matter one bit though, cause these crakcer-ass-crackers ain't giving no money to no descendants of former Nigga slaves. But them cracker-ass-cracker boys LOVE them some Halle. Shit. I loved Hally back when she was a Nigga Crack Ho in Jungle Fever!

Indians? Let them take every god damn cent out of every crakcer-ass-crackers' pocket!

You know why I like my Nigga, Michael Jackson? 'Cause he only fucks with the little cracker kids! Now if came around trying to holla at a little Nigga Girl, I'd have to cut his shit off!

I gotta give another shout out to my Nigga Quint for telling the world the truth about whitey! And another shout out to my Nigga Mooney! Them Niggaz STAY Black 24-7!

1:31 PM  
Blogger sj-the-infamous said...

All I know is that Mooney told a joke once involving a goat and somebody's mother in law....I was literally on the floor shaking and crying. I have never laughed so hard in my life! I have been a fan ever since.

9:18 AM  
Blogger BestJokes said...

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10:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A friend just showed me this neat website full of racist black joke
I cant believe the quantity an quality of humerous racist black joke it contains
Heres one of the jokes i found on it:
Bob brought some friends home to his apartment one night after they had been out painting the town. One friend noticed a big brass gong in Bobs bedroom and asked about it."Thats not a gong" Bob replied "thats a talking clock. Watch this!"
Bob struck the gong and sure enough a voice on the other side of the wall screamed "Hey your jerk its 3 o'clock in the morning!"

5:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damn! Y'all are ignorant, racist retards! Every white person is out to get you, huh? Get over it! The KKK are scared little faggots, 'cause most white people would kick their asses! Racism could have an end if people like you would let it. I tried to read your shit with an open mind, but I got a little sick of your assumptions that every white person is a racist, and it is clear you are the most racist person you have ever come across. You are so angry because you see yourself every day.

You are obviously on the opposite extreme of what you claim to be fed up with. This makes you just as shitty as all the racist "white folks", just as shitty as all the people you complain about. People like you keep racism alive, and with your attitude, there will never be equality. Hell, you don't even want equality. Your idea of "reparations" that white people supposedly owe black people, would be for white people to be slaves for a few hundred years, and black people to treat them like shit. You want the roles reversed for revenge. Equality my ass, you say you are black, but you are see through. Clear ass ignorant mutha' fucka'. Get a life, and start to fear God for a change. His judgement is upon you like it is upon any racist jerk. You need some peace in your heart. Freak man! Forgive "whitey" for what we never did to you. My ancestors never took part in slavery, so you ain't got nothen up on me; they had the English to worry about. Besides, white people didn't start the African slave trade, Arabs and other Africans did. Rich whitey from Europe came into the game WAY later. Get your history strait. There is no superior race, so stop whining.

7:27 PM  

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