Road Trip Lesson Number Three: My Lady Has a Supersensitive Sense of Smell

You can learn a lot about your traveling companion when you spend 30 hours together in the cramped confines of a Honda Civic. The combination of limited space and extended contact can bring all kinds of personality quirks to the fore. Around the second day of our trip, it became clear to me that My Lady has a superhuman sense of smell. She sniffed out the faintest scents 30 to 60 seconds before I did, and sometimes smelled things that I couldn't even detect. Every few minutes for the length of the trip, she complained about some odor or another that offended her sensitive little nose. In order to illustrate this, allow me to share some of those outbursts with you. Maybe I can drive you as crazy as she drove me.

In no particular order:

"I smell sausage."

"Do you smell that? Something smells like vomit."

"You stink."

"I wish I had some Febreze to spray you with."

"Stay away from me. I stink."

"You want a mint?"

"This hotel smells like cigarettes."

"You smell that? Something in here smells like the ocean."

"This car stinks."

"I smell onions."

"I smell like onions."

"I smell onions."

"Did you smell that skunk?"

"Let me smell your hands."

"I smell a car on fire."

"Please change your socks."

"Something smells like manure."

I was so relieved when we finally pulled up to My Lady's new apartment complex in California. After we picked up the keys from the leasing office, we headed to Apartment 207. The first thing that she said when we crossed the threshold was, "This place stinks." I turned around and went back to the car.